Progression

Lately I have felt that I am coming to a very odd place in my life, a place that is new, exciting, scary, and unpredictable. I will graduate with my degree in Environmental Engineering in less than one year. There are many things that I am certain of, and even more that I am not.

I have always lived an active lifestyle but have recently switched my way of thinking to try and live a clean lifestyle in what I consume both mentally and physically. I have a goal for 2011 to run 1000 miles, which has been inspired by my grandfather who did the same thing in the 80's. I am not new to running, but this has been a challenge and has kept me on track. The more that I run, the more I find solitude in running and the more I realize that running is a basic primal instinct. And when fed, this primal urge can help not only physical progress, but mental and spiritual progress as well. I feel closest to God when I run.

I have been reading quite a bit as well. I feel like now is a time for growth in my personal life and hopefully in my relationships. Reading has been accompanied by writing. Recently I have felt insecure in some aspects of my life and have found that writing helps me put my thoughts in order and to sleep at night. I have found it very therapeutic, but feel the need to share my thoughts and feelings with the outside world, which is why I am starting this blog.

I have also been praying more than any other time in my life. When I am unsure or worried I have been asking whatever power is out there to let its will be done in my life and to take control out of my hands. I'm not too sure who or what I am really talking to, but I feel like I am heard and things are tending to work themselves out for the most part.

Graduation is going to sneak up on me all too fast, I realize this, and I am beginning to grow anxious to know where I am headed afterwards. I will leave school with no debt and plenty of money in the bank. I have a feeling that I'm not going to go to work or settle down right away and will probably rather be irresponsible, travel, learn, grow and smoke a lot of pot. That would be ideal. The future is not guaranteed, today is all that we have, so I want to live my life. Really full on live it. Depending on what and who is in my life at the time of graduation I would like to hop in my car with a tent and my money and travel to all 50 states, climbing to the highest peak in each one. Maybe by myself, maybe with someone. And then get the hell out of this country for a while and join the Peace Corps.

I am writing this blog to be heard, because I have a lot to say and don't know exactly who to say it to. So I'm putting it out to the world wide web. Maybe nobody out there will read it and that's cool. But this is really for me anyways.  I used the word "I" a lot in this. I promise not to talk solely about myself but to talk more about ideas. My mind is racing and my stomach is in knots. Fucking 5 Hour Energy drink, why did I drink you?